guns in my house

Last night, Talia, my boys and I returned home around 8:30 PM.
David, who stays with us as our safety net was already home.
Talia and I had a board meeting/conference call set for 9 PM, so we were hustling to get Everest and Miles to bed. We didn't have electricity, so the house was dark. We were using flash lights to find pajamas and toothbrushes. I heard a mans voice coming from our black living room that wasn't David, and I turned my flashlight toward the sound.
The man was walking toward me with intention.
His build, height and hair resembled our friend, Oz- so I greeted him thinking it had to be my friend.
But, in the light my flashlight was casting I saw an angry stranger- and there was a pistol pointed at my face. Two other men came in behind him with shot guns and dispersed into the house.
Talia says- I said: "This is happening. There are guns in my house."

Then I started screaming for David. Every time I did, the man shook the gun closer to my face and acted like he was going to hit me with it. Miles, who was standing next to me began to scream in fear.
I picked Miles up, held him against my chest- looked at the man in the eyes and said:
"Papa- tout bagay pou ou. Tout bagay. Pa gen pwoblem. Allay."
"Papa, everything is for you. Everything. I have no problem. Go."
The anger in his eyes released slightly, and he showed me and Talia where he wanted us to sit with the boys. Everest was silent the entire time, he put his hands up and kept them in the air when any guns were pointed at him. Miles kept screaming,

David came around the corner with shot gun at his back. The man made him lay down and they tied him up. Then the man with the shot gun started to tie me up. I am not sure what he was attempting, but he started by wrapping a bandanna around my face then moved it down to my mouth and slipped to my neck. None of it served any function in my mind, so I told him: "Pa bezwen sa. Pa gen pwoblem. Tout bagay pou ou. Fe le rapide!" ("You don't need that. I have no problem. Everything is for you. Do it fast!") He tightened it around my neck.

I knew this little guy with the big shot gun was the biggest threat to us. He wanted to hurt me. He just wasn't sure how to do it. He ripped the necklace off of my neck. I told him my children's names were written on it. He threw it back at me. He ripped the ring off of my finger. I told him I found the ring on a street in Haiti and that I was a poor white person.

Miles kept screaming. The little man with the shot gun demanded I make him stop crying. I snapped. I started yelling: "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!" He wound up the shot gun to hit me with it. But, one of the other guys stopped him. David coached me to calm down.  Talia prayed out loud to Jesus. Miles kept screaming that the bad guys were going to steal his blankie. We couldn't convince him otherwise. For the next 20 minutes, we all sat on the floor, rocked in the dark, my babies in our laps, guns pointed at us, praying for our lives.

The men stayed in our house for over an hour. They were very disappointed by the lack of valuables we possess. They kept asking us where our money was hidden. David explained that we really didn't have any, he told them about Haiti Mama. They wandered around the house thirsty for more, opening cupboards and even digging through the fridge. I told them there was beer in the bottom they could have. They declined my offer.

At this point, David was singing Itsy Bitsy Spider to Miles on repeat, and he had finally stopped screaming. The tension in house had lessened. But, they were still convinced there was more to find. They started going to the balcony and whistling for whoever was outside on look out. We all felt hopeful that they were finally going to leave. It was then that I realized that the keys to our car were in the backpack the man was carrying on his back. I asked him if he would please leave them for us. He stopped, took off the backpack and dug through everything he was stealing for us, found the keys and left them.

Then, the little guy with the big shot gun came in from the balcony, stood next to us, and cocked his gun. That was the worst moment of my life. Throughout the whole robbery, I felt like it was a horrible sign that the men weren't wearing masks or hiding their identity at all. When he cocked his gun, it seemed their intention was to kill us at the end.

The two other guys said something to him that I couldn't understand and he said "okay."
Then they told David he needed to unlock the gate so they could leave (they had climbed our rock wall to enter), and they escorted us into Talia's room to while they made their escape. In that room, we prayed God would keep David safe alone with them. And we prayed that God would raise up a generation of Haitians who have more opportunity. We prayed the street kids Haiti Mama serves would be given grace to become something more than this. We prayed that God would keep David safe some more.

Then... the electricity turned on. It was surreal. All of sudden there was light. David came back in, told us they were leaving and to start packing up what we needed for the night. I found Miles blankie and showed him that they didn't steal it, and we booked it out of the house in 6 minutes. Talia was able to stay cool, calm and collected and remember things like diapers as I numbly walked around in circles.

We are safe at a hotel now. Our board of directors directed us to buy flights home so we can regroup and reconstruct. We leave tomorrow at 5 PM.

Those men stole everything. Our phones, computers, tv, dvd players, Everest and Miles clothes, all of our backpacks, all of Davids shoes, and the little bit of cash we had on us.
But, we are alive. But, life feels scary right now.

As the Executive Director of Haiti Mama, I would like to make a formal statement regarding this:
The true victims here are the oppressed men who have no education, no opportunity, and no hope. If the society they come from wasn't so corrupt and unjust- this wouldn't have happened. We work with street kids. Boys who are destined to become men like this. We are giving those boys every opportunity to become something more. Something better. This only makes me want it more. But, I feel lost between my beautiful Haitian boys who deserve so much more and my beautiful American boys who deserve so much. Pray for us.

Talia and I agree on these things:
1. This evil can not defeat what God is doing through Haiti Mama.
2. We can't live in this country without intense security. (like an armed guard)
3. We need a lot more support to afford safety here.
4. We are not going to give up.

A Corner For All

Today- Thursday, September 24th 2015 is my favorite day of Haiti Mama in it's 18 months of existence. 

First of all, you need to know Jimmy. 

Jimmy is OUR friend. Bon Zamni. 

He owns my favorite corner on the planet. Thomassin 25, Haiti. 

And Jimmy loves his community. 

Jimmy's house is open. 

He is always feeding people. 

He says to be his friend, you have to let him share what he has- because that's how love works. 

I refused to spend $10,000 a year of the donations you all give to rent a location to run Haiti Mama. 

Haiti Mama is based in the community. 

Jimmy's corner of Thomassin 25 is a part of Haiti Mama's soul. He has always given us the space and chairs needed to hold productive meetings. 

Meetings where Jimmy asks AT LEAST 10 TIMES: 

"Is every-ting alight? 

You need any-ting?" 

Tout bagay afrom, Jimmy. Mesi anpil.

Jimmy has given my family and our organization- COMMUNITY.  

Everest and Miles have friends everywhere in Thomassin 25. Miles scores so much candy on Jimmy's corner. 

Jimmy's tings. Are kind of amazing. 

This is the day I cried to Jimmy for 2 hours about poverty, and then he preached back for an hour about what Haiti Mama is to Haiti. He taught me things I didn't even know about my own organization. This was a "hope" selfie. 

This was just a happy Saturday because Ian was here. 

The night Jimmy taught me to take tings from his hand, because I am not his friend if I do not accept tings from him.  

Met my first voodoo priest at Jimmy's and he explained that a spirit had given him the woman seated next to him in a dream. They met the next day. Till death do they part. 

Our last team meeting before I left my Social Workers for the first time to return home and beg for money. Look how little we were. 

Jimmy's place has beautiful energy. 

Jimmy named it:

"A Corner For All" and he constantly dreamed of everything it would be. 

He didn't need much to make his dreams come true. But, he can't say no to the ones he loves. 

Then Patrick came. 

Jimmy's place is where we welcome all of our guests to Haiti. 

And on Patrick's first night- Tausha, Jimmy and Patrick took a road trip down the mountain to bring a very mentally ill woman home so she didn't sleep on the streets. 

It was the start of what's lead us to today, my favorite day of Haiti Mama. 

Patrick joined Haiti Mama to help train our staff on behavioral interventions with our rough and tough street boys. 

He quickly realized most behaviors could be distinguished if our boys had more opportunity for hands-on learning and skills training. 

Oppression causes behaviors. 

Patrick then decided the best contribution he could make to Haiti Mama was to cut his trip shorter and use his funds to give the boys a project. 

So, Patrick sought out a community development project. 

He didn't have to look far. 

We spent the summer planning three months of vocational school for our boys with our first:

Haiti Mama Community Development Project. 

All the bosses agreed to teach, and Jimmy agreed to match half of Patrick's investment before we started. 

Jimmy agreed to hire our hard workers as restaurant staff. 

Today is my favorite day of Haiti Mama because: 

Community Development = LOVE. 

The community is teaching and training and feeding (because it's Jimmy) "street kids". 

Our 16 year old boys are developing relationships, skills, and a business within the community that will create their first jobs. 

Does love exist without community? 

Look what our boys built today: 

Community Based Vocational School. 

Education. Community. Relationships. 

Clouds of Darkness

Pictured here is Gadlain, a child Haiti Mama works to educate.  

For 31 years, I took my education for granted.
I was completely ungrateful.
It never occurred to me that my birth in the United States was the luckiest thing to ever happen to me.
I can see clearly now.
My K-12 education was an incredible gift. So much so that I can't find more worthy a cause than giving that gift to as many children as I can.

Education SHOULD be free.
Education IS a human right. 
Education LIFTS people out of the darkness.
Education EMPOWERS humanity.
Education CHANGES everything.


The day I woke up:

I sat in the small cabin we call our office one hot June afternoon with a family we found sleeping on the streets the night before.
I sat next to Stevenson, as we worked through an intake assessment that had us both close to tears. But, we remained diligent in making sure that we had the whole truth, truth and nothing but the truth.

Stevenson looked at me and in English said: "Tausha, we've never had a family like this before..."

That day, we learned this humble and tired mother of five had recently lost her husband.
He was killed. Intentionally. After paying for his funeral, she was left with nothing.
Then, she made the most selfless decision a mother could.
With her last $600 she chose to pay the balance of her children's tuition for the year, instead of her rent. For two months she worked tirelessly to come up with the money she needed.
Then one day, the landlord threw all of their things out unto the street and locked the doors.
Three months later, we found five children wrapped in plastic on a sidewalk.
Children who had school in the morning.

That night I asked her if ANYONE had done ANYTHING to help her before me...
Her answer will haunt me forever.
She said "Only Jesus, and now you."

In our hot office during intake the following afternoon, she offered praise to our creator; giving thanks for her children's grades. Although they were homeless, they all did well.
And that was her proof that Jesus had been helping her all along.
This mama didn't need the Footprints poem hanging in her bathroom to know God was holding her.
She didn't even need a bathroom to know that.

God told her to educate her brilliant children, and she obeyed.
She lived on the streets with five kids for three months- so they could learn their ABCs.


For 31 years I took my education for granted...
I can see clearly now.
My K-12 education was an incredible gift.

So much so that I can't find more worthy a cause than giving that gift to as many children as I can.